After the phone call from our caseworker on October 1, 2018 that we were matched with the two little girls we inquired on, we kind of lived in a daze from excitement and being insanely scared. We were scared of the unknown of what was ahead and what to expect. During my phone call with the caseworker we scheduled a meeting with the girls caseworker where we can gather more information about the girls and have a chance to answer questions and ask questions.
The day of our meeting we did our last minute preparation of our home and then sat their anxiously awaiting the arrival of the two caseworkers. When they arrived we excitedly welcomed them into our home. We gave the girls caseworker a quick walk-through our home and showed her our backyard. We then sat down in our living room and chatted over the more specific background of the girls and what was to happen next. Then it happened…
The girls caseworker looked at us and told us how excited she was to read our home study. She had no questions for us. She said, “I have to be honest with you. Right after we chose your home study a relative for the girls came forward” <<insert disappointment>> She explained that the agency has to give this relative a chance. They had to do a background check on the relative and see if they would be a good fit for the girls. If things didn’t go well with the relative, then we would still be the match and continue forward.
After what felt like forever, but was just over a week or so of waiting, we received the phone call that they were going to move forward with the relative. The emotions that flooded through my brain are not even describable. It was almost like going through the miscarriage all over again but without the actual physical side effects. Even without meeting the girls, I was attached to them. I wanted them. I was loving everything I was reading and hearing about them. We were shown pictures of how cute they were. My heart was breaking piece by piece. Why did God give us this opportunity but not follow through? After everything we had been through the past few years, why this pain again?
We decided to not look into more children for a little while. The stress of inquiring and waiting and the let-downs was becoming too much for us. We decided to just get through the holidays and see what the new year would bring for us.
Family Against All Odds 