In May of 2013 I decided to schedule a physical for Jason and myself with hopes of starting to get refocused and get back into working out. I was getting better day by day and I was done sitting around. We had our physicals and everything went well, or so I thought.
June 10th, Jason picked me up from what was a normal day at work. I was finally back working full time, things were going well. I got into the car and Jason started driving in the parking lot and then just stopped. He burst into tears. At that point I was scared. This man never cried. I was frantically asking him a million questions. “what’s wrong?, Did I do something wrong?, etc.” He finally said, “I’m sick”. I was like, “oh okay, let’s go home”. He didn’t say anything. I turned to him and said, “what’s wrong? What kind of sick?” He was still crying and said, “I have cancer”. I lost it. We had just been through so much with the miscarriage, my shingles and vestibular disorder, and now this. In my head I just kept saying, “no no no, this isn’t happening. I must have heard him wrong.” I asked him, “Are you serious? What do you mean you have cancer? Says who?” He told me about how at our physical the doctor was concerned because of a few of his numbers on his blood work came back abnormal and wanted to run a few more tests. He didn’t tell me sooner because he didn’t want to scare me especially since I was just newly recovering from my illness.
We sat in the parking lot at work just crying together. After some time he recovered enough to drive us home. The whole way home I had a million thoughts running through my head. I couldn’t lose him. I was only 27 and he was 31. I wasn’t ready to lose him and face life without him. I sobbed the whole way home. When we got home I ran into our bedroom and continued to sob on our bed. Jason came into the room, and I stood up and hugged him and continued to sob on his chest and fell to my knees hugging his legs crying. I didn’t have the strength to stand. I knew I had to be strong for him, but I was so worn from my own battle. It just wasn’t suppose to be this way. Not my husband. Not us. This wasn’t fair.
We spent some time talking about things together. What was next. See the oncologist… but first… we had to notify our family. Everything is a bit blurry. I remember texting people and making phone calls. I remember sitting there sobbing on the phone, unable to actually speak, because I just couldn’t get the words out of my mouth… “Jason has cancer.” I wasn’t ready for all the questions, because quite frankly we didn’t even have all the answers. The hardest call was to Jason’s mom. He was unable to call so I braved up and made the call. Or at least I tried. And then I sobbed out the words, “It’s Jason….he has cancer”, and then hearing her words, “no no no” while she cried with me. To this day that phone call is imbedded in my head. No one wants to be that person to tell someone that their child (even if they’re an adult) has cancer.
I texted my boss and told him the news and he excused me from attendance until I was ready to come back. The next day, June 11th, Jason and I stayed home in bed all day. No, not doing what you might be thinking, but we actually put in our DVD’s of “Who’s Line is it Anyway”. This is one of our favorite shows to watch together and it easily gives us laughs. We ate our meals and snacks in bed all day, and just cuddled together watching the shows and talking. Jason eventually fell asleep and I remember lying there next to him watching him sleep and crying to myself. Watching his eyes twitch a little and his chest rise and fall as he breathed. I was memorizing his face as he was peacefully asleep, and then cuddled next to him and eventually cried myself asleep. That day was exactly what we needed to take our minds off of everything.
A few days later it was time to see his new oncologist. We heard the confirmation that Jason does have cancer. He has a form of Leukemia called Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL). The good news was that it progresses slowly. The bad news was that there is currently no cure for this type of leukemia. We spent the next year monitoring Jason’s cancer through scans and blood work. He had a bone marrow biopsy done, as well. At about the one year mark from being diagnosed with CLL, Jason’s blood work showed that the cancer was progressing quite a bit and he had to now undergo chemotherapy through IV. He had another bone marrow biopsy done to check for the numbers they needed. He then had surgery to insert a port into his chest so he could receive chemotherapy and so they could collect his bloodwork easier. June 30, 2014 Jason started his first chemotherapy session. He went through six months of chemotherapy (3 days each month) and had his last chemotherapy session on November 21, 2014.
During those six months I took off work for almost every single chemo session Jason had. I would pack up snacks, games, books, etc. to entertain us as we waited for the days to be done. Often times Jason would be too exhausted to do anything, so we would just watch movies together or he’d fall asleep. Sometimes his body handled the chemo okay, sometimes not so much. His blood pressure would go all over the place, his body would overheat, get nauseous, etc. It was a tough six months.
When his last day of chemo arrived I was beyond proud. He faced this journey with so much strength and determination. We developed relationships with the nurses, and they helped make this journey a little bit more tolerable. Jason had chemo a couple days after his birthday and the nurses gave him a large cupcake and a card which they all signed. They were amazing. So in return, on Jason’s last day of chemo we bought cupcakes and a gift basket full of goodies for the nurses to thank them for their love and support. I’ll tell you….watching Jason walk down the long hallway heading towards the parking structure was a moment I won’t ever forget. When we got in the car we were silent and then Jason shouted, “I kicked cancers butt!” and he burst into tears. Yes sweetie, you did and I couldn’t be more proud of you. (Pictures of this journey are shared below)
The chemo was a success, but only for a short time.
After a few months of finishing chemo Jason ended up getting shingles across his lower back. Apparently this is common with cancer patients and they are put on a medicine to try to prevent this from happening.
A few months after his shingles went away Jason had a follow-up appointment with his oncologist and he told us that the cancer was progressing again and Jason needed to start a new form of chemotherapy. Jason was given a pill form of chemotherapy which he had to take daily, which he continues to take to this day. This pill was to help put the cancer into a dormant stage. We received a monthly treatment every month through certified mail.
November 2019 marked the four year mark of Jason being in unofficial remission. Unofficial because the only way to confirm is through another bone marrow biopsy but the doctor would prefer not to torture Jason with a fourth bone marrow biopsy if it’s not necessary. The blood work has been closely monitored and all the numbers are exactly where they should be.
The follow up appointments with the oncologist originally were every three months, and then got pushed to every six months. After some time they will be pushed to yearly, assuming Jason continues to remain in remission.
Family Against All Odds 